This blog post is going to be slightly different. I’m actually going to talk about one of the times I attempted something, and did not provide what was required. I felt that talking about a failure may actually help others realize that failing happens to everyone.
A little background…
So before I begin, I want to start off in case this is the only blog post you read about me. That I genuinely enjoy coding, I think there’s feelings of success when you complete a task in it. You can see the results of what you do, there is pride to be taken in your work.
This was a python, and wanted away of viewing the store conversations in paging mode. I was under the interpretation that this was to show you, you’re own personal conversations. And what you have said. I have no idea why I came to this conclusion, whether it was fatigue, hunger, or simply put not using my brain well enough, but I did make this decision. I decided I would use a ‘grab’ in the text to grab all the messages, and that it would grab all your messages.
This is the pull request, it took me a while to navigate Python, and figure out the ins and outs. I spent a lot of time on setting up the environment, understanding how the program worked, and where all the data going was. I started implementing and taking initiative on what I thought was best…I wasn’t correct with my line of thinking, which is okay. It happens.
So Where Did I Go Wrong?
I think there is a lot to take from Open Source projects, and one of the learning experiences I took into account was that sometimes you may just not have what the person is looking for. That’s what I gathered from this experience. Now it seems weird, but why throw in the towel? Well, simply put, it wasn’t my ability to solve a problem the issue, but my lack of commitment to this. I have other priorities in life, other coding journeys to go on. And this is one where I felt my journey took me where I needed to go. I felt I needed to fail at one, and accepting that, would actually help me cope with working on these more going forward. It means I know I need to put my care into my work, and pay attention to the details greater, it also reminds me of the necessity of a manager or a leader that I like being in constant contact with. There are moments as well specifically working on someone else project that I feel I would need easier access to guidance on how a certain project should look.
A metaphorical example
I’m a big footy fan. I love the game, I love the strategies and I love the passion and the community. I’m a big fan of Zlatan Ibrahimovic . I’m also a big fan of Pep Guardiola.
Famously these two never got along at Barcelona, Zlatan who is a top tier prolific goal scorer, and Pep who is arguably one of the best coaches in the game today. On paper this should be a match made in heaven. However, Zlatan was benched constantly and had this to say.
“When you buy me, you are buying a Ferrari. If you drive a Ferrari, you put premium petrol in the tank, you hit the motorway and you step on the gas. Guardiola filled up with diesel and took a spin in the countryside. He should have bought a Fiat.”
Both player and manager have gone to be very successful, and both have achieved great things in the realm of Soccer. Yet one could argue that they both failed each other in this scenario. Pep failed Zlatan to understand how to implement his abilities, and Zlatan failed Pep for not having respect for the coach is one way to look at it. Yet, there is an issue I have with this approach, and it’s of the mindset that both these things are negative things about their character.
I think the more important fact is that they both were willing to stand there ground, and accept defeat to each other is what actually made them strong. Pep had pressure from the media to play Zlatan, and Zlatan had a drive to get more minutes on the pitch. Those were more important then their disagreements.
So how does this relate? I didn’t feel I could get much more out of working on this project, it’s not that I didn’t want to do a great job, I always do. Time however is precious, and both these men continued forward focusing on their goals, and this has led to them both having illustrious careers.
There is always more and more I need to learn, and I accept that. But this will actually encourage me to work faster, and harder, and be part of more projects I want to be a part of. Open source gives you the ability to do that. And that’s all this was for me. Helping me figure out what projects I want to belong too, or need to be the best I can be.
And I leave it with one of my favorite quotes of all time, and one I felt was appropriate to this situation, and what I’ve learned. Don’t be more afraid to fail, be afraid to not achieve your goals in life.